Jihad of the Soul: Singlehood in Muslim America

With all of our fancy technology, the Facebooks (which I admit I use A LOT), the Wiis, do you ever stop and think how funny it is that regular ole face to face interaction is still what fulfills humans the most?  In one of our recent polls, "Where do you go for fun?"  57% responded "Hanging out with Friends" and 29% responded "Family Events."   Bloom Fully!

It's simple, humans are social beings.  Just think about how we come into the world.  We're born unable to eat on our own. Unable to stand on our own.  Unable to even communicate!  Our helplessness at birth highlights our need to depend on others.  Without the care and love of another being, we would simply die.   And it's the same whether you are a child or an adult.

So why we have begun to take relationships and community as less of an importance to other things like careers, money and education?  If money can't truly make us happy, but people can, shouldn't we invest more time into developing our social skills?  Into learning additional ways to connect?   We've all heard stories of the millionaires that commit suicide... but still we will sacrifice friendships and family over the pursuit of money.   

Healthy relationships with others encourage healthy relationships within (and vice versa).  The next time you want to 
work an extra hour rather than tuck your children to sleep, or forgo your friend's party for the 10th time because you
want to suck up to a new boss....I encourage you to remember what's important in life!   I'm learning this too, but here are some
things I think can help us all.
6 ways to improve your relationships!
1.    Talk!  Talk openly about your thoughts, fears, loves, dislikes.  Don't be afraid to share yourself with others
who have demonstrated their love and respect for you.
2.    Listen!  Listen to your friends and family when they speak. Don't make assumptions that you have no basis for.  
3.    Respect!  Although human relationships are integral to our well-being, they are brought about by a conscious 
decision. No one has to be your friend!  Respect others and their feelings. 
4.    Balance. Everyone has a life and everyone is responsible for managing it.  Set boundaries for your relationship 
and keep to them!  
5.    Be honest!  Faking interests or experiences just to be close to someone leaves you feeling guilty and anxious.  
Be honest and trust that you're worthy of love and friendship just the way you are! 

6.    Make Up!  It's OK to have disagreements.  People often feel like disagreements with a friend is the end of the friendship.  

Deep relationships are built through a variety of experiences.   Be willing to pursue it to the depths!
(c) Zarinah El-Amin Naeem 2009